Film & TV Film Reviews

Tell Them You Love Me review: Must-see doc explores racism & disability

Promotional image for Tell Them You Love Me showing a white and a black hand over a keyboard

Credit: Netflix

“She was talking to herself.” That is the conclusion of Howard Shane, a speech pathologist and professor at Harvard Medical School, regarding Professor Anna Stubblefield. In 2015, Stubblefield was convicted of sexually assaulting Derrick Jones, a severely mentally and physically disabled African American man, who is the subject of Tell Them You Love Me. Stubblefield claimed that she enabled Jones to communicate for the first time.

Jones, referred to as ‘Dman’ by Stubblefield, showed signs of disability soon after birth. His brother, John, a PhD graduate and the person who introduced Derrick to Stubblefield, described him as a “listless” child. Despite years of work with his family and carers, Derrick never gained the ability to walk or talk. Believing there was more to his brother, John asked Stubblefield to meet with Derrick after she showed the class a video on Facilitated communication (FC), a now-debunked technique that supposedly unlocks communication and intelligence in otherwise mentally and physically disabled individuals.

FC enables a disabled person to communicate with the help of a facilitator who supports their arm or shoulder as they type on a keyboard with a built-in screen. This support allows them to overcome physical impairments that would otherwise prevent them from typing. Proponents claim that FC frees disabled people from the constraints of their own bodies. However, as has been shown in controlled tests, critics say that it merely reveals the unconscious thoughts of the facilitator who is, apparently, inadvertently guiding their subject.

Derrick and John in Tell Them You Love Me
Derrick (left) and his brother, John (right). Credit: Netflix.

Tell Them You Love Me explores how dangerous such a technique can be for society’s most vulnerable, especially when coupled with the inherent racism of a white-saviour complex.

Things start out quite miraculously, as Professor Anna seemingly unlocks Derrick’s ability to communicate and reveals that he does not, in fact, possess the mental ability of a toddler, but instead is a secret intellectual who enjoys classical music, literature, and red wine. Before long, he’s on the conference circuit, professing the benefits and opportunities that FC presents to academics across the U.S.. This is, it seems, marvellous – but is any of it true?

As time passes, Stubblefield begins to realise she has romantic feelings for Derrick despite his disabilities and the fact that she is already married and has children. Things progress even further when Anna claims that ‘Dman’ consensually pursued a sexual relationship with her, leading to the pair engaging in sexual intercourse on two occasions.

As someone completely new to the case, Tell Them You Love Me is in equal parts fascinating and horrifying. But it’s what the documentary reveals on the case’s racial subtext that is the most insightful.

While it’s quite clear that Anna Stubblefield honestly believes her intentions were good and true (believing herself to not only have helped Derrick but also forged a strong, consensual relationship with him), it’s equally as obvious that the words coming from Derrick weren’t based in his own hidden intelligence but instead in Stubblefield’s unconscious desire to be the ultimate white-saviour by taking a mute, disabled black man and raising him up to be the intellectual husband of an older white woman.

It’s a sad realisation for the family, who, buy their own admission, were at one stage over-the-moon about their son and brother’s progress, and it’s heart-breaking to see them come to terms with that loss.

Interviews with Daisy (Derrick’s mother), John (his brother), experts, and even with Stubblefield herself, combined with the exploration of other FC stories makes Tell Them You Love Me an incredibly well-rounded piece that doesn’t lurch to being accusatory but instead invites the viewer to form their own opinion which, for most, will be that Stubblefield abused a severely disabled man to please her own unconscious yet implicitly racist and poorly expressed desires for social justice.

Overall Rating: 9/10

Tell Them You Love Me is available to stream on Netflix in the US and NOW in the UK.

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Sam Harby

About Author

Sam is one of the editors and founders of Downtime Bros and an accredited critic. As a lifelong fan of video games, his favourites are Metal Gear Solid and The Last of Us. With years of knowledge and critical analysis under his belt, he has written hundreds of articles - including news, guides, and reviews - covering video games, movies, TV, and pop culture. Follow him on Twitter and check out his reviews on OpenCritic.

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